Election Day

Head coaches are a lot like presidents right? I mean, they lie publicly, cheat privately, and take large amounts of money from donors to get what they want all the while trying to lead to victory.
So on this Election Day I decided to put together a small list of head coaches who should run for president.
Almost all of them would be a better fit in the White House than the two we have to choose from.

1. Nick Saban- For obvious reasons. First, the United States would dominate. Everything. The economy would turn, wars would last days, and gas would cost about $1.00 a gallon. Would you wanna be the Middle Eastern oil kings after Saban got done with you? No, you wouldn't. Because you would loose. And terrorist would issue apologies.

2. Bill Belichick- Again, domination would play a big part in electing Belichick. Most of the same things you get with Saban you get with Bill, and there wouldn't be any speculation as to who tailored his suits since he dresses like a homeless dude.

3. Chip Kelly- The United States would attack everything they did with speed and precision. Giving his tempo, he could repair the economy, erase the national debt, and fix healthcare in about six months. He would spend the second half of the term thinking about his next term.

4. Bobby Petrino- He might get impeached by year two but I think he would be very Clinton like. Especially with the interns.

5. Brian Kelly- If we don't get him, Ireland will. He would run a tight but steady ship and Catholics everywhere would rejoice. America would be fine, unless we ran into actually competition.

Vice Presidential Candidates:

1. Derek Dooley- Never has made it as the Big Man but has always been good in a supporting role. Looks the part of a politician and would use useless bits of American history in his speeches.

2. Bill Snyder- He would bring respect and dignity to the White House. Pair him with the right President and our government would run flawlessly.

3. Mike Leech- Not the best guy to lead, but would be a hell of a right hand man. Could put together an explosive economic game plan, and press conferences and debates would be epic.

Left Of the Ballot:

Steve Spurrier- To brash to lead the nation and The Ole Ball Coach doesn't play second fiddle to anybody. Couldn't you see Spurrier interrupting the Speaker of the House with that sarcastic who do you think you are tone?

Jimmy Johnson- Although he's a proven winner, you can't have a leader with erectile dysfunction. At least not publicly known. Would he run Cialis commercials in between campaign adds?

Bill Cower- Yes he's a winner, but he also looks like he hates everyone. All the time. And I think he actually does. He may be the type of guy to bomb the entire world just because he's having a bad day.

Of course these are just a few candidates that could help our country.

And who knows what will happen tonight.

Nick Saban already has several write in votes in the state of Alabama.